Early in my career as a CEO, I participated in three different YPO (Young Presidents’ Organization) forums — monthly gatherings for leaders seeking to grow personally and professionally — and I benefited from each one. Maybe you have tried participating in a small group. They can be great.
Yet over time, I became restless. The groups’ potential was regularly limited by superficiality, a fear of vulnerability, conflicts of interest — even intentional sabotage by some members, at times.
Another recurring phenomenon was seeing executives I’d worked with — all of them talented — “hitting the wall” in their personal and professional lives. They started out well, growing in their career and influence, only to hit a wall or stop growing.
The successful men I knew had real stuff going on beneath the surface their lives — pain, old wounds, deep complications — that left them stuck and defeated. Often, they looked successful and “in command” on the surface. Sometimes their unhappiness felt more existential and tougher to pin down. But one thing they knew: Leadership tips or inspirational platitudes weren’t going to fix it.
I didn’t have the language then for describing what was happening, but I do now. They were being overtaken by an unseen stranger — their own mysterious and powerful subconscious reality — their shadow self.
By the mid-‘90s, I found myself Forum chairman of the Florida YPO chapter and saw an opportunity. I grabbed the chance to start a different kind of forum. I was working with a small group of newbies and our plan was bold. It ratcheted up the expected commitment, while aiming for nothing less than what we call a Level 3 transformational forum experience.
Roughly 30 years later, my original forum is still together. Lives, careers and families have been powerfully transformed. We launched other forums for non-YPO leaders that are now each at least 10-12 years old and just as powerful.
I started as a leader and a teacher. But over time, the other members have all become my teachers by understanding the power of their life stories and their commitment to significant growth. And I couldn’t be more grateful.
The right kind of small group can be transformational in our lives as it helps us see ourselves and others like never before.