Are there more hypocrites in church or does it just seem like it?
This was the third big question I grappled with after a friend, who seemed the epitome of a “good” Christian and powerful minister, was discovered to have led a double life.
Unfortunately, religious settings prime most of us for pseudo-honesty, because the risk of being real is just too great. A judgmental culture can keep a person — or a whole community — from healing and change.
Of course, there are plenty of faithful men (and women) who are leading in their faith communities with integrity and compassion. But some traditions require their pastors and priests to be saintly, pure and pious, especially in the arena of sexuality.
I know of one church that was asked to allow a recovery group to meet in a building on the property. An AA group was allowed, but when it came to Sex Addicts Anonymous, the answer was a firm no. Ironically, because of the anonymity involved, they didn’t know several members of the group were leaders in their own church.
This suggests that church wasn’t a safe place for its own leadership, much less members and visitors. Does it have to be that way?
Thankfully, more and more religious and secular groups understand that creating safety is as important as teaching truth — and that this is the path to freedom and healing.