In the 1991 dark comedy City Slickers, three friends in their 40s decide to escape New York for a guy’s trip to a dude ranch. At one point, Billy Crystal’s character, Mitch, asks his friend, Ed, “What was the best day of your life?”
Ed describes his boyhood confrontation with his father. “I finally realized, he wasn’t just cheating on my mother, he was cheating on us. So I told him, ‘You lied to us. We don’t love you. I’ll take care of my mother and my sister. We don’t need you anymore!’”
Their friend, Phil, asks, “What was your worst day?”
Ed replies, “Same day.”
Looking inward
For years, I’d covered over the arrow in my heart from my father. I’d tell myself, “This isn’ t really happening. Really, I’m fine.”
Looking into the heart wound we’ve stuffed away is a scary — but necessary — step on our path to freedom and the power freedom brings.
Such a wound can drive us to medicate our pain and confusion in ways that end up hurting us and those we love. We may not even be aware of what’s happening until it’s too late.
Pause and reflect
- We all grow up with — and then internalize — some kind of message like, “If you want to be OK, do/believe this… or else!” What was yours? Who was the main spokesperson for it in your life?
- How is that message from your past shaping your life today?